Graham Couzens:
My name is Graham Couzens and I have severe Social Phobia / Social Anxiety
Disorder. I decided to TRY Get Over It
or at least share my experiences attempting it. I
will share my daily activities and struggles with Social Anxiety Disorder.
Contact Me
December 3, 2006- Social Anxiety
Updates
I thought I would update what I have been up to these days.
In my last post I explained some of my frustration involved with still
attempting to complete another
college degree. Well, my semester has come to a close a little early.
The good news is I finished with a 4.0 GPA. The bad news is I ended up dropping
most of my classes. I was having difficulty communicating with the instructor of
one course and completing a group project when my assigned team members were
missing in action. I decided to drop to half-time and only take 2 classes
next semester. One class will be a repeat and should be easy. The other is
a required intro class for this college and should be routine as well.
Dropping below full-time will have some consequences. It might affect financial
aid, but I have not been informed if it will. The major consequence is the
elimination of a psychological crutch. Specifically, now that I am not
attending school I can no longer say "Well, I'm in school full-time. I don't
have time to get a job." The only excuse I have now is my severe anxiety ( and
trust me...that's "excuse" enough).
Well, the obvious question is "Do I need to get a job?"...Maybe. It has been
over 2 years since I have been employed. I had a job (on and off for 11 years)
where my SA ( short for Social Anxiety for you non-SAers) was not an issue. I do
not expect to ever have such an opportunity again. Every day is a struggle, but
I am not starving. Two years before I knew I would be laid-off I started saving
and living frugally. I lived on a couch for 6 months and saved several thousand
dollars. A year later, even though my income had increased, I downsized from an
apartment to renting out my friend's basement. I paid for an entire year of rent
in cash up-front in exchange for a % reduction. When I was laid-off I collected
6 months of Unemployment, knowing it might be the last regular check I ever
cashed. Before that ran-out I started buying and selling everything I could on
eBay, building websites, etc. Unfortunately, my various micro-businesses
have never brought in enough money to pay for living expenses. Therefore, my
savings has been depleted. Some was spent on food, some to buy business
inventory, etc. The bottom-line is I am bleeding money. At this point I still
have access to enough money to get by, but sooner or later that runs-out.
My social phobia fixes:
The reality of life is an individual is responsible for taking care of himself (
and his family). This includes doing productive work that is valued and
exchanged for shelter, food, clothing, school tuition, cars, insurance, taxes,
water bills, gas, etc. I consider myself to have both an extreme case of social
phobia and an above average aptitude for entrepreneurial endeavors.
Unfortunately they seem to cancel each other out. I will never be able to work a
worthwhile "9 to 5" type job, despite any knowledge or skill I may have to
offer. The social and political aspects are too large a component. Being
an entrepreneur is a matter of survival for me. In order to eat I have to
provide a service or product or create value in something and find a trading
partner. Even this is not easy. It's very difficult, especially without
networking opportunities. People have literally refused to accept payment from
me for marketing services because I have social phobia. There is no quick
fix. Social anxiety or not, most people have the idea that they will go to
school, work hard, and find some way to pay the bills and be happy. Few seek the
level of independence required to live in the counter-economy. I will continue
going to school, selling on eBay, working on internet marketing, etc.
Recent Entries:
12/15/2006 Social Phobia-
Speech Anxiety, Help I Can't Talk
10/20/2006 Social Phobia-
Going to College
7/9/2006-
Social Phobia- Living in a Third
Party Reality
3/20/2006-
Social Phobia
Health-Taking a Break
3/2/2006-
Social Phobia Fatigue- Social Anxiety
is Depressing
1/29/2006
Get a Haircut and Oil Change
with Social Anxiety
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